Category: creative growth


To Unlearn: What I No Longer Believe to be True

unlearn <un·learn>

discard (something learned, especially a bad habit or false or outdated information) from one’s memory.
  1. College is the only or surest way to succeed in the modern world. We know no examples. Bill Gates. Oprah.
  2. Smart people always make good decisions. If you are smart, you cannot be wrong. Ever. Duh.
  3. No one will ever truly look out for you, with the exemption of your family. Family members – the ones you do not choose – are the only people you can trust. Surely, everyone is ultimately out to get you in the long run. If people leave, even when their appointed season in your life is over, that is the zenith of betrayal. Off with their heads! Every institution – even the most blessed, pure, and loving – has its limitations. That can’t possibly be ok.
  4. You cannot set boundaries with family. “I love you, mother… Thanks for calling the third time today… Yes, yeah… I’m on the look out for my future husband. Of course!…. Yes, a medical doctor, yes, medical… I have the criteria list seared into my mind… I’ll review the scroll right before I head out to work… Oh yeah… yeah, it’s morning here – kinda early….”
  5. Life is not meant to be enjoyed. What is happiness? Struggle is life. Struggle defines life. Despite the fact that you only get one chance at living, why would you actually enjoy any part of it? This is not a game. #struggleislife
  6. Men are on the fuckboy spectrum. Therefore, can they really ever be a partner and ally? Not one man is worth the time of day. They’re all such good men, and yet leave behind throngs of broken women in their wake. I mean, why expect respect and harmony in a relationship when all he really needs from you is a warm, cooked meal and a warmer body? I mean, really, #NotAllMen, amirite?
  7. True love eludes women who are decisive, inquisitive, and have at least one degree. The more degrees you attain, ladies, and the more you desire out of life and people, the worse off you are in the love department. Facks on facks. And you’re over 30?! We all know you tuck your degrees and diplomas and career under your pillow, bitter, lonely woman. I mean, can you even cook?
  8. The goal in life is perfection. Live up to everyone’s expectations at all times. This is the true measure of perfection. If no one complains about you, and you’re worn ragged as a result, who can fault you for being exactly what is expected? At this point, you’re perfect!
  9. People’s opinions of who you are and what you do matters immensely. Again, it’s amount molding yourself to the pleasure of others. You’re a humanitarian, after all. The only life you’re gifted cannot possibly be lived according to the terms of the personality gifted the body. Benevolence is cute, but my opinion of who you are and what you ought to be matters more than the love you ought to generously dole yourself.

#MusicMondays | “Y’all Feel That?” by BamaLoveSoul

Y’all know about @BamaLoveSoul? No? Well, lemme put you on. Once upon a time, way back in my college years, I stumbled on BamaLoveSoul. For the life of me, I cannot remember how I found their work. They describe themselves as a movement to change the narrative and public perception of what Alabama music is like. In fact, the “website has become to “Go To Spot” for exposure to new and alternative music, as well as old tunes that you may have missed“. My college days were spent discovering hip hop, American blackness, Def Poetry Jam, the Black Panthers, and womanism. Perhaps then, this is not entirely a stretch that an Alabama movement found me in the Hecht dorms of Miami’s most beautiful college campus. Nevertheless, I have had this Badu Remix playlist saved as a bookmark for at least an entire decade (omg!). I regret nothing. The entire playlist has held up beautifully and it’s about to become my #Summer16 soul soundtrack!

Y’all, go through your internet bookmarks every few years. The tucked away memories that may have evolved to become part of your identity might just emerge to remind you of specific sensibilities you once held. Worth remembering. Dude, you’re welcome.

Track list:
JBmBeatz – Texas Tea (The Badu Medley)
Beat Attic – Incense & Brandy
School of Rock – Apple Tree
Soldier (simon S Remix)
Soldier (Gudina’s I Can’t Believe It’s NOt BUtter Flip)
Love of My Life (Jack Smith Remix)
Bag Lady (Salah Ananse Transatlantic Soul Mix)
Southern Girl (Opolopo remix)
Southern Girl (Moonshine Remix)
oriJanus – 21 Feet Tall
The Light (Cornbread Remix)
Real Thing (Marvel Remix)
Warren Xclnce x Ohforeal! – Tmrrw x Ystrdy
Robert Glasper – Afro Blue (AnuTheGIANT Remix) feat Erykah Badu
Robert Glasper – Afro Blue (9th Wonder’s Blue Light Basement Remix) feat Phonte
Honey (Souled Remix)
Cleva (Captain Planet Remix)
I Want Moombah (J Boogie 12″ Edit)
Sometimes (Manmademusic More ooft Edit)
Drama (Manuel Riccardi Deep mix)
Window Seat (Boddhi Satva Ancestral Soul Remix)
In LOve With U (Steva’s Basement Mix)
Bump (Soul1LDN Classic Remix)
Next Lifetime (Deluxepusher Dub)
Tyrone (Ain’t My Style) (The Main Ingredient Remix)
Bjork vs Badu – Come to Me / Bag Lady
Bare Beats + Stray Dog – Kiss Me On My Neck
On & On (Sid Mercutio Cover)
Jchu – No Love
as inspired by Lorraine Hansberry

  1. the unending African vs African-American debate, and the assumption that the former are inherently a better people (and not merely because of continental pride)
  2. melancholy
  3. silly, lazy men
  4. the idea that black women do not or cannot support each other
  5. the fact that people actually live boring lives but pretend not to
  6. respectability politics, especially as perpetuated by the marginalised
  7. the “what about me?”, #alllivesmatter narrative: fuck feelings attempting to dictate self-love
  8. the currency of sex
  9. writing paralysis due to fear
  10. erasure
  11. typing in every individual work experience after uploading my resume on your website
  12. racism and sexism
kylli sparre

I can beat the night, I’m not afraid of thunder

I am full of light, I am full of wonder

New year, who dis?
It’s a new year and in typical fashion it makes sense to ready the vision boards, create the resolutions/goals lists, decorate the gratitude jars, muster up the courage to finally tell your boss you deserve that raise, block the unrelenting ex and other similar lovers who didn’t make the 365-day cut, etc. etc. etc… I’m right there with you. I’m expectant. Nay, I’m impatient. We are six days into the year and I’m AWL ready for the glory that awaits. I’m not sure I have the words yet to properly articulate how much I need 2016 to be a great year for me. I’ve commenced, in full form, my Beyoncé year, so there is no time to waste!
There are three life skills and goals I must master (to any greater degree!) this year:
a) Learning to play my tenor sax, as I’ve had this amazing instrument for years and have yet to acquire real proficiency;
b) Learning French, as I’ve literally learned this language on and off for 30 years; enough is enough; and
c) Allowing myself more humanity, as I need to make sure that in a world where steely confidence is seen as an asset and a security blanket, I don’t forget that I’m fucking human and crying in my car on the way to work because a song really spoke to me particularly is quite alright and well within the purview of self-care, healing and personal strength. Whew!
So here’s to 2016; may it be full of wonder!